“When we are in a state of shame, we are not open to sharing our authentic selves. Our shame tells us we have something to hide, and that we are broken, defective, or different. Furthermore, shame tells us that if anyone finds out who we really are, we will be rejected.

When we are impaired by shame, we must name it, and then work to loosen its grip. We have to separate from it in order to heal. We must not believe what our shame tells us about ourselves. We have to see our shamed parts as if they were separate from us. Once some separation is achieved, we can begin to relate to our shame with curiosity and compassion.” Hilary Jacobs Hendel